Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Another day in the jungle

So it's a new day. And I have to say, it's not been that horrible of a week thus far.

I had Monday off work so that I could go and see the fertility people. Not much that they told me that I didn't already know. But, it's good to know that I am on the right track with my thinking, and that there is still a chance that I might get pregnant without having to undergo treatments.

Worked yesterday, although it didn't really feel like it. I kinda felt like I was in a daze for most of the day. Exchanged naughty text messages with M, only to get home and find that it was a million degrees in the house and way too hot for any kind of loving to happen. Boo for me. I guess we'll just try again tonight!

Managed to get my butt outta bed on time this morning and into work before 9am, so that is a huge plus on the tickboard for me! M has an interview today (oh please let it go well....pretty pretty please) so hopefully he will be back at work soon.

I think that's it for now. I have more to say, I just need to figure out how to get it out of my head and onto the blog.


Friday, May 23, 2008


Yay it's FRIDAY!!!

And already it's been a crap day.

Got up late this morning cause M turned off my alarm on me. I got up to go to the bathroom, and not realizing what time it was I finished up, and went back to bed. Turns out that my alarm went off while I was in the bathroom and M figured I was up already. Ya, he was dead to the world asleep when I crawled back into bed. Bolted straight up at 8:15 and then flew around the house trying to get my shit together to go to work.

Was driving to the office, realizing that I'm still half asleep and thought.... I'll stop and treat myself to a coffee this morning. So I pulled into Starbucks, placed my order and swiped my debit card. "REQUEST DENIED" is what the card reader said. WTF? I know I have money in my account. So I try it again. "REQUEST DENIED". Damn it. I just want coffee. So I step outside to call my bank. Apparently my card has been compromised and they put a hold on my card. Ya, they weren't going to tell me. FUN. I finally convinced the guy to at least let me get my coffee. By now, I'm running really late for work, the baristas have had to make my coffee again, and I just want to go home and crawl back into bed.

We'll see how the rest of the day goes.

Took Jubbie to aquafit last night. It was fun, but I feel bad that she had a roving leg/foot cramp thing. Hopefully she'll be able to come with me again.

Must send positive vibes her way... her hubbie Sal was laid off earlier this week, and they could use the good thoughts and positive vibes. Hopefully he finds something fantastic soon.

Okay, must get back to work and get shit done. I don't want to be here all night.


Thursday, May 22, 2008

In Real Life...

In real life (not blog land) I haven't told anyone other than M about my blog. But I was mentioning it to Jubbie yesterday and she totally wants to read it.

So today, I sent her the link. (Everybody wave to Jubbie - Hi!)

I am a bit nervous that someone from "In Real Life" that I know, and spend time with, is going to read this. But hey, if thousands of online readers (ya right... like maybe 2) are reading I shouldn't be that freaked out by my bestest friend reading it. Nothing said here is anything that I either haven't already bitched to her about or told her.

So welcome Jubbie. I hope you enjoy yourself.


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The one where I completely lose my shit....OR, Everyone is an asshole

Sorry, but I need to rant. I need to vent. And I don't really have an outlet for it elsewhere, so here it goes.

#1. My husband's asshole friends.

You guys are all assholes. M is a great guy who goes out of his way to make sure that you all feel like you're important to him, and on his day, the only day that is his (his birthday) you assholes all forgot. And I don't mean like, you didn't call till late in the day, I mean I had to call all of you assholes and remind you at midnight that you had forgotten M's birthday. It's not like it's that hard to remember. It's a couple of weeks after Fez's birthday. And holy shit you guys make a huge deal about that one. We take time out of our busy lives to ensure that we come to your events, spend money that we don't have so that we can say that we were able to help you celebrate your day. And then all you fuckers forget his birthday? You're all assholes.

#2. My sister-in-law Jamie
I can almost understand M's friends forgetting his birthday. Almost. But you? You're his freaking sister for fucks sake and you forgot. How do you think that makes him feel? He already feels like he's the only one in this stupid fucked up family that gives a damn about anyone else and then you go and forget his birthday? Jesus, he's only been your brother for 28 years. You'd think that by now you could have at least wrtitten it on the calendar. You're a fuckwit, and you need to stop your pity party now. You made the choice to move to the middle of freaking nowhere, Saskatchewan to try and save a marriage that you fully admit is over. Your husband has told you flat out that he no longer loves you and doesn't want to be with you, and yet, you still are trying. And making the rest of us feel like shit for telling you not to move, not to give up your life, and your kids, to try to save something that is beyond saving. If you wanna keep banging your head against the wall with this one, that's fine, but enough with the pity party already. You're an asshole.

#3. My sister-in-law Brandy
You are young and dumb. At 23 you should know that unprotected sex leads to pregnancy. Holy shit, you already have 1 kid that you don't look after, and now you're having another one. I sincerely hope that you smarten up and start to raise your kids... cause leaving it for your parents (my in-laws) to do sucks and makes me think less of you. You're an asshole.

#4. My sister-in-law Kristina
You take the fucking cake. You have the classic middle child syndrome of "Poor me, no one loves me" and you need to get down off your high horse and dump the attitude. The fact that you used to be a good mother to your 5 year old son isn't impressing me anymore. You suck as a mother. You have no patience for your son, and all you do is yell at him. Is it any wonder that he is sucky when he sees you? Between dropping him at our house for days on end or sending him to his fathers parents house for days on end he never sees you. And holy shit, what kind of mother decides that she needs to stay with the father who beats her and is showing signs of beating her kids and then claim that "it's for the kid... I want him to have both parents around". Are you really that stupid? I can not believe that you and your stupid boyfriend/father of your child/whatever you're calling him these days decided that it would be a good idea to leave your son with us, and then take off for 3 days and drive to fucking Montana. Not to be a doom sayer, but holy shit, your mother has cancer. What if something happened to her? Or, worse, what if something happened to your son? You didn't leave us with any of his stuff - like his birth certificate, or his medical insurance card. If we had to take him to the hospital, they would have taken him into custody until you came back cause we would have had no way to prove who he was and who we were in relation to him. You stupid bitch. Stop thinking with your vagina and start acting like a grown up. You are a first class asshole and you don't deserve the little boy who calls you mom. That kid is awesome, and all you do is throw his love away.

Deep breathe. I think that I am done venting. Sorry about that. Regular programming should resume shortly.


Wednesday, May 14, 2008


A new day, a new post. Sorry I missed posting yesterday, I was going to try to post every day this week, but to be honest, yesterday was an absolute crap day for me and I spent the day at home in bed.

I wish I could tell you that I was sick, but I wasn't. I just didn't feel like getting out of bed. I was sad. Not 100% sure why I was sad, it could be a combination of a bunch of things, but sad I was. M tried all day and most of last night to figure out why, but I couldn't tell him. I did tell him right before I went back to bed for the night last night though.

But really, how do you explain to your husband that you are sad? And how do you explain why? Let's start out with some very basic facts.

M and I are trying to get pregnant. It's lots of fun trying (*snicker*), but as of yet, we have had no luck. We've been trying for about a year now.

Finally, we went to the doctors. Turns out, I need fertility drugs. Okay then. So I start taking the drugs. They make me feel like ass, and it sorta makes me feel like less of a woman, cause hey! I'm supposed to be able to do this, it's like part of the genetic make up of women, but whatever.

Been taking the drugs since January. Still no baby.

I know that I mentioned that his sister is pregnant again, right? Well she didn't want the kid in the first place, but for whatever reason is having it. And she has said right out that this baby (just like her first) is the result of a one night stand. Fuck me, that's depressing.

Okay, those are the basic facts. Over the weekend, M and I talked and decided that since money is a bit tight, and we are still trying to get all of our things here from Ontario, that we aren't going to do a vacation this year. So we decided that it would be more fun to get a group together and go camping. We've booked for the first weekend in August, which is right around our anniversary, so it should be lots of fun!!!!

M says to me on Monday night "What if you're pregnant? - Ya know, when we go camping?" and the first thing that popped into my head was "that would suck. I won't be able to drink with everyone"

This led to my depression yesterday. What kind of person who is actively trying to have a baby, and wants this more than life itself thinks like that???

Holy crap I am horrible.

But I did tell M all about this last night, and he told me I was being silly. Even if I did think that at first, the second thought through my head was "it would be SO great to have that story to tell the baby - of how mommy went camping when she was pregnant"

I know this is a bit of a downer post, but I am feeling like I suck today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Oh Wow, it has been a while

Apparently, according to some people (SMASH) I don't update often enough. Looking at when I last posted, I would tend to agree.

But there really hasn't been anything blog worthy of late in my life.... Oh crap, yes there has been:

We (as in hubby and I) found out that his little sister is pregnant again. She's 23, and this will be her second child. 2 different dads for both her kids and she's not with either or them. After spending some time with over at hubby's dad's place (little sister still lives at home and expects her parents to raise her kids) we also found out that she has a very high risk pregnancy. So think good thoughts for her and the babe, okay?

My mummy was in the hospital last week having her gall bladder removed. It was not something we expected, and I was a bit freaked out when my step dad called to let me know that she was in the hospital. Apparently she thought she had the flu, but a few hours later they were rushing her to the hospital and having them yank out her gall bladder. Thankfully, she is okay now and well on her way to a full recovery.

I did the travelling roadshow for work in April, (I think I may have already blogged about that) and got to spend some time with both my mummy and my dad, so I don't feel like such a crap child for moving away again.

Hubby and I bought a brand new king size mattress. It is FABULOUS. It also means that we are fairly broke until next time I get paid, but a good night's sleep is SO worth it. Did I mention that we were sleeping on a 20 year old double before? No? I didn't? Huh, I thought I would have bitched about that for sure.

Ummm. I think that's all for now. I will try to update on a more regular basis, pinky swear.

I blatenly stole this name survey thingy from Stephie (). Feel free to palm it off as your own if you haven’t done it already.
1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letter of real name plus izzie): Kriizzle (Wow, that's horrid, I should have used my middle name)
2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color and favorite animal): Red Jaguar. Hmmm. That one sounds more kinky than detective-y.
3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name and current street): This one is really going to suck, as I live on a numbered street... so it would be Deborah 137. Not very Soap Opera like.
4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first name, first three letters of mom's maiden name): BilKrCob (I guess it could be worse)
5. YOUR SUPERHERO'S NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Black Crown Royal. Now this one is good. I can just see myself in a black catsuit, wearing a crown, saving the day!
6. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (Men: father's middle name and mother's middle name; Women: mother's middle name and father's middle name): Leigh-Ann Michael
7. YOUR GOTH NAME: (Black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Texas. (Yes, I have a cat named Texas)
8. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (the name of your childhood pet and the street you grew up on): Bandit Yonge. How classy does that sound?

I'll try for more later.....