Saturday, May 16, 2009

Pigger... Part 1

I have been meaning to write this post since the beginning of February, when our wonderful baby girl, whom I shall call Pigger, was born. But, the joys of being a first time mom with a premature baby have taken up more time than I thought possible and I am just now starting to get used to how sleep deprived I have been and able to string together a couple of coherent sentences to share her birth story.

Let's backtrack a bit. Pigger was due on March 3rd. She actually arrived on February 7th. Do the math and that puts me at just over 36 weeks, which in reality, isn't that early, but just early enough to freak out all of the doctors monitoring me, etc.

Okay, back to the story.

I had a regular appointment with my ob/gyn on February 4th, a Wednesday. While there, I complained that I thought she had moved breech again. (Pigger did somersaults from 30 weeks on. One week normal, one week breech. I was not looking forward to her being breech at the end and having to have a c-section) So my doctor checked my cervix. I got great news. Head down, starting to engage, and I was already 2 cm dilated. As any pregnant woman can tell you, you can be in early labour for weeks, so I didn't think anything of being 2cm already.

Thursday came and went. By this point in my pregnancy, I started making a list every morning of what I wanted to get done. More because I needed to remember all that I wanted to do than because I wanted to make a list.

So I got up uber early on Friday the 6th. When I got up, I noticed that I was wet. More than usual. (I know, TMI) I didn't think much of it, and went downstairs to make my list. After making my list, having some breakfast, and generally hanging out infront of the tv, I went upstairs to pee. (Here comes more TMI). As i peed, I noticed it was a bit "more" than usual. I wiped and noticed some "show". This is the fancy word that they use in all the pregnancy books for blood. I also had a wicked back ache that seemed to come and go. Alright, now I'm starting to freak out a bit.

In my usual fashion, I decided to call the prenatal clinic. After talking to the receptionist, and telling her what was going on, she informed me that my water had probably broken in my sleep, I didn't know it, and I was most likely in labour. HOLY SHIT. I ran upstairs, woke up my sleeping husband (It's now about 10:30am) and proceeded to jump into high gear. I had a bag to pack, people to call, and a husband to get out of bed. I finally (gently) slapped him upside the head and said "We need to go to the hospital, um NOW." He sat straight up and freaked out. He thought it was his mom. After reassuring him that she was okay, and it was me that needed to go, he swung into action. Off to the clinic we went. (Thankfully, it's at the hospital!)

We arrived at the clinic and the doctor in charge fit me into her schedule. We waited about an hour to see her, and when we finally did, she informed me that yes, I was in labour, and yes, I was going to the delivery rooms to have a baby! After lumbering my way to the delivery area, I sat and waited. We were given a room, (woo hoo for the private rooms that you labour in, deliver in, and keep the baby in until you are released) and I settled in.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Anger Monkey's

I have to get something off my chest. I have some very severe anger monkey's right now, and I just want to rip someone a new asshole.

I will start with a little backstory.

My SIL is living with an abusive man. We have tried everything to get her to leave him, but she won't. He is the father of her child, and she loves him. A big WHATEVER to all of that. Before christmas my husband and I noticed that her little boy had a bruise on his eye. When we asked him about what happened, he told us both (at separate times) that his daddy had hit him. When questioned as to why his dad had hit him, he told us that he didn't know why, he just did. So hubby and I had a talk with SIL. We tried to learn as much as we could about the incident, but she just kept saying she didn't know what had happened, and that it must have been an accident. Hubby and I talked it over for hours, and finally I did what I thought (and still do) was the right thing to do. I called social services and reported the incident. I don't care if SIL wants to put herself in harms way, she is an adult and there is nothing I can do to stop that, however, I can do everything in my power to make sure that her little boy, who is just 5 is not put into harms way. To make a long story much shorter, social services went to her house late at night with the police, and woke her son up. He was scared and confused and would not admit to anything. SIL has admitted to both hubby and I that she lied to the police as her boyfriend and his cousin were both in the house while she was being questioned and she feared for her safety if she had said anything. She then proceeded to ignore all further calls from social services, and when they showed up at her house she ignored the door.

Fast forward to last night. Hubby and I had been out running some errands. We got home and noticed that his mom's car wasn't in the driveway. (She is too sick to drive anymore, but sometimes lets SIL take the car.) He went downstairs to check on his mom, as he always does when we get home from being out, as he is her primary caregiver. SIL and her son were here. He asked about the car and SIL responded that it was at her house.

Okay, still with me so far? Good, cause this is where my anger starts to kick in.

SIL then began to scream at hubby because she is now being investigated for abusing her son - we don't believe that she has ever hurt him, but her ignoring all of the calls and visits from social services has escalated into this. We have tried to tell her that this is what would happen if she continued to ignore them, but she doesn't listen. She screamed at him that he was a f*cking asshole, that this was all of his fault, and that he should have just left things alone. Keep in mind that her son is witnessing all of this, and that this is all happening infront of their dying mother. Things were yelled back and forth between hubby and his sister. She then took a couple of swings at him, at which time he called the cops. Keep in mind that I am upstairs and trying not to get too upset, seeing as I am just under 5 weeks away from giving birth.

Then SIL made a mistake - she threatened hubby. Her exact words were "Just you wait, you're time is coming. Once the baby gets here I am going to make your life hell". I don't take to well to anyone threatening me, but you are now threatening my unborn child.... I saw red. I managed to keep myself upstairs because honestly, I probaby would have punched her if I had gone downstairs.

We dealt with the police - hubby decided not to press charges as she hadn't really hurt him with her punches. Then we got a call from hubby's other sister. Seems SIL who had been scrapping with hubby earlier in the evening was talking to SIL #2 online and was badmouthing both hubby and I, and saying shit that was completely untrue. Hubby was quite upset by all of this, he keeps saying that he just wants to keep his nephew safe.

My anger is coming from a dark place within me. I hate the thought of any child being abused, but when it is your own family, in this case, my nephew, who I have helped care for since birth, I am at my wits end. Hubby is dealing with the stress of this, plus taking care of his mom, plus having a very pregnant wife all at the same time. I can see that this is taking it's toll on him, and i feel like there is nothing that I can do to help him.

This is where my anger kicks in. How can one girl, be so stupid? She isn't here everyday, caring for her mom. She isn't even here once a week. She claims that it is too hard for her to see her mom like this, and yet, she has no problem coming by and getting rent money from her mom, or grocery money, or whatever. The only time she comes over is when she needs something, and otherwise she doesn't even bother to call us and find out how mom is doing.

And now, she is threatening my family???? What The Fuck. If anyone has any ideas, please feel free to share. For now, I am going to try to let the stress go, try to let the anger subside, and hopefully find a way to get my hubby to relax for more than 15 minutes. I love him and I don't want him to stress his way to a heart attack or doing something he will regret later.


Sunday, January 18, 2009

6 weeks to go...

With just 6 short weeks (hopefully) until the baby arrives, I am starting to realize that my life is about to change in a huge way. It won't be all about me anymore. It won't be just hubby and me when we go out.

I can honestly say that I am starting to get a bit anxious. Not about how the baby is going to affect our lives, because I am ready for that. What I am not ready for is the actual giving birth of the baby. I am scared that I won't be able to handle it, that I will end up a big pile of mush screaming at the doctors to drug me up and cut me open.

My husband just laughs when I mention all of these fears. Not because he is insensitive, but because he is a man, and really doesn't understand why I am so scared. I can't wait for him to be in the room with me and experiencing all that I am going through, so that hopefully, he won't laugh anymore.

Enough about the scary stuff.... On to happy thoughts.....

We finally got the baby room done! My SIL was in town for a week, and she helped me to junk out the spare bedroom, move furniture around (well, her and hubby moved furniture, I supervised), and generally clean the room. Then came the fun stuff.... putting together the crib, organizing the baby clothes, and generally "nesting". I still get a smile on my face everytime I open the door to the baby room and see it all ready for the baby. I have been slowly but surely washing all of the baby clothes and blankets for the past week, so that I am not hit with doing a ton of laundry all at one time, but it does mean that I am lacking on doing the regular laundry and now there is a pile in our room that is threatening to overtake us and smother us with it's dirtyness.

I think it's time for hubby to do some laundry while I sit on my arse and eat bon bons. Ha Ha Ha. I don't think that I could handle the sugar overload that I would have from the bon bons coupled with the gestational diabetes. And since we can't have that, I will sit on my arse and eat something healthy for me, like some cheese and whole wheat crackers.

I will try to update again before the baby comes.... but I can't really make any promises.

Saturday, January 3, 2009


So what if I am not the most consistent with my blogging? I have had other things on my mind. (Plus, my loving husband is addicted to World of Warcraft, which means that me getting any computer time is like trying to pull teeth.)

So it's 2009. Yippee. In all honesty, my life still kinda sucks. Yes, I am very excited that in 8 short weeks I will be (hopefully) delivering my first born, and thus venturing into the world of parenting, but other than that it's been crappy... I will review for you:

1. MIL is still with us (yay!) but she has been deteriorating quite rapidly, and refuses to let anyone other than hubby help her with her medications. (For those that aren't in the know - MIL has late stage cancer and we (hubby and I) live with her and take care of her.)

2. Due to MIL's insistence that hubby is the only one who can help her, he is not able to work. Which means that we only have one pay coming in, and that's mine.

3. I have been on sickness leave since the end of October. So instead of getting a full paycheck, I am only getting about half of it.

4. I am slowly starting to realize that I hate not being able to work, and am really afraid that I am going to want to jump back into work once the baby is here...

5. My mother still hates my hubby, but with the added bonus of her being out of work right now, and calling me a million times a week to complain. (At least she doesn't live near us!)

6. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes about a month ago and I am still trying to get into the swing of no sugar.

That's enough crappy news.... let's look at the positive shall we?

I am going to be a mommy soon!!!! I can't wait, and I am so excited for both hubby and I. He is over the moon about the baby, and can't stop asking if she's moving, and such. It's so nice to have such unconditional support!

I still do have my health. There is nothing wrong with me that won't be fixed after I give birth!

Hubby's family is also very excited and involved with the pregnancy, so it's nice to have the support of them.

My best friend has agreed to be in the room with us when I give birth, to help calm me and hubby. Plus she always knows how to make me laugh, so I think it will be good to have her there!

We have everything and then some for the baby! Between what we have bought, what we received at the shower, and the gifts from family, this kid is already spoiled! I love it!

And, I get up each morning with a smile on my face and the knowledge that all of the bad is balanced by good, and even when I can't see it, the good is still there, waiting to jump up and smack me in the head with a nice, soft pillow.

I can't wait to see what 2009 holds for me and our family. I promise to try to be a better blogger, and to keep you all much better updated!