Thoughts on the upcoming V-Day

As some of my closest friends know, I don't celebrate Valentines day. I don't begrudge those who do, but the day really holds some bad memories for me and I would prefer not to get involved with the enitre fiasco that is Valentine's Day. Oh sure, I could spout off about how it's a total Hallmark holiday, created by industries in order to drive up sales of flowers, cards and chocolate. And I could spout off about how flowers eventually die, cards get thrown away and chocolates make you fat. But none of those are the reasons why I don't celebrate Valentines Day. When I first started dating M, I made it clear that I was NOT expecting flowers, or chocolates, or a card on Valentines day. If he loves me, he should show it year round, not just on one day, right? But this still is not the reason. I mean, yes, you should show the ones you love (or love to shag) your feelings for them all the time, and you should celebrate Valentines Day if that's what you both agree to do. Don't celebrate it because it's expected though, cause that's just being a sheep. Following the crowd if you will. Surprise your loved one on the day after Valentines day with a sappy card. Just to show that you care.

I'll tell you why I don't celebrate. But you have to do the time warp with me.... (cue wavy lines and the music....)

Okay, so it's 1980. My parents are fighting all the time. We're talking vicious, object throwing, beating the crap outta each other fighting. (Don't worry - they are both happily remarried to other people with whom they have never thrown objects at, or beat up.) Your resident superwoman (me) is 2. And locked in her room during most of these fights. (Okay, I wasn't locked in, I was sleeping!) But one night a bang wakes me up and I wander in my oh-so-cute red pajama's (with the feet attached!) into the living room where my parents, are screaming insults at each other. My mom has thrown a crystal vase against the wall near my dad's head (there is broken glass everywhere) and my dad has managed to hit my mom with a boot. (To say that they were ill suited is down playing it a bit). I spent about 45 minutes or so crying, walking between the two of them. Even at such a young age, I realized that they were both hurting, and wanted to comfort both of them at the same time. After a while my parents realize that I am awake, in the room, and could get caught in the cross fire. Back to bed I go, complete with all of the screaming and kicking that a 2 year old (who is WAY over tired) can muster.

2 days later my mom packed me, all my toys and anything of hers that she could into her car and we left my dad. I didn't see him again for 3 years. The date that we left - you betcha, it was Valentines Day. So my dad, thinking he is doing something special for his wife, picks up flowers and dinner on his way home from work. Arrives home to his apartment to find a note from his wife telling him goodbye. And, as an added bonus, she took his kid with her.

Now, you might ask yourself, "Why would this affect you? You were 2!!!" And here's where it gets fun. Once I started seeing my dad again (after he got sober) he would call me every year on Valentines day. (I lived with my mom full time, but saw my dad every other weekend) And every year after telling me that he was wishing me a happy valentines day, and that he loved me, he would remind me that this was the day that my mother walked out on him. He still, to this very day does this. Never mind that he is remarried to a wonderful woman. Nevermind that I am almost 30 years old. Nope.

Every. Single. Year.

So, because I look forward to that phone call about as much as I look forward to someone smashing my face in, I don't celebrate Valentines Day.

It just sucks for me, but M (my wonderful, loving husband) understands this, and usually tries to take me out for dinner (nothing fancy - just to the pub) sometime in the month before or the month after Valentines day. And he always makes sure to tell me that he loves me. But he tells me that a thousand times a day every day (cause we're mushy like that).

Oh. And, usually when he does this special night just for me, I return the favour and give him a great blow job as thanks! Sometimes, I will even go all the way! Ha ha ha. like I can say no to sex. Why would I even try?

Have a great Valentines Day people. And for those of you who do celebrate, don't forget that March 14th is Steak and a BJ day for the guys. Valentines day is probably just for women, so here in BC a local radio station has created Steak and a BJ day a month later for the guys. Yep, you cook your man a steak, and give him some head. Sounds like a great plan to me.

MWAH! Kisses to all of you!
~kris